My gosh, haven’t written or articulated thoughts in so long that this feels outright unnatural.
Well, I suppose blog-writing IS rather an unnatural thing to do. I don’t think humans were made to sit around on the computer for endless hours (though what I’ve been doing the past few weeks) and type out every thought popping into their minds.
Anyways, I thought I should get back into this as it seems like an excellent way to relieve some of the utter nonsense running through my mind these days. Also, a friend of mine commented a few weeks ago that I may never be able to achieve excellence unless I learn to sift through the banalities of life (Or something along those lines).
Perhaps it’s how I’ve been conditioned these past few years.
These days I feel heavily pressured by the dilemma and trepidation of producing vs. creating. I’ve noticed that many of my classmates have become reticent and withdrawn. It’s easy to blame the stress from schoolwork on this but I think it has something to do with wanting to produce only noteworthy work.
Do we really miss out by trying to edit out the seemingly uninteresting points in our lives? Can we really find or create masterpieces from nothing? Or do we just end up celebrating mediocrity?
I’ve been stuck in such a serious hole/rut these days in terms of creating. Should I just produce produce produce and see how it goes. That was a statement, not a question but when reading it, it almost seems as if it is a sarcastically-spoken monotonous statement because the raised intonation at the end abruptly disappears. [Here begins my life of producing]
The weather is really quite fantastic today from the perspective of someone sitting in a twelfth-floor apartment near an open window wearing a cozy sweater feeling the breeze blow her hair in a friendly diagonal fashion.
I am staring out the window at this one condo on Bloor that has a great big slab roof that looks like it’s floating because of the lights illuminated right underneath it. I’ve been incorporating hidden light sources in my designs a lot these days. Maybe this building was a subconscious influence all along.
One of my professors said the other day that all Ryerson students design buildings with atriums - everything from shopping malls to funeral homes. Our studio, punctuated with two large (and if I may say, beautiful) atriums have really been a lot more influential to us than I give it credit for. If I think back to my last few projects, 3/5 of them had very prominent atriums, even though it was the completely wrong choice.
It’s interesting to think how far and deep certain things permeate our lives.
I’m thinking of that one scene in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, [spoiler alert] when Joel says he doesn’t know the Clementine song only because he’d previously erased the memory of that song from his childhood. I think that scene resonates with me the most because of how completely someone or something can integrate into your past, present and future - far beyond the actual point of co-existence in your timeline.
I would like to go up to the penthouse of that condo one day.
